how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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