can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
