absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
