Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
