please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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