He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
only if we run a train.
done.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
