i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
