my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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