With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
