I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
