She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
