Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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