They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
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