Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
