If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
