theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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