i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My underwear smells like fireworks.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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