Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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