Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
