Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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