So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
