This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
