I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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