yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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