She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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