Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have fence marks all over my body
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
