Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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