Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
