So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
