Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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