So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
