im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I believe in your delicious
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
