dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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