Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
