I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
