If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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