pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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