Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You can't just leave with hair like that
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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