Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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