covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
