you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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