I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
