After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
