bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
