This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
