love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
