Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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