My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Come see our sink grown plant.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
