I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
