we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
