I want to have your abortion
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
